People having a baby will enjoy a new experience together, but it can bring about many changes to their relationships, too. You won’t have time to do the things you used to enjoy because taking care of the baby is takes up a lot of time and energy. Going out with friends and relatives might seem like a distant memory. Due to the exhaustion and stress, you might find yourself getting into more arguments with your spouse. Don’t fret because we’ll talk about the possible changes that may happen in the lives of people having babies and how to deal with them, here.
The 7 Changes Couples Experience After Having Kids
1. You May Start Resenting Your Partner
You may start to snap at your spouse more than usual. It’s normal to feel some resentment toward your spouse when they leave for work leaving you to take care of the baby. The way your partner washes the bottles or changes the diapers may irritate you, but that doesn’t mean you’re heading for divorce. Your irritability to these little things may be caused by sleep deprivation or hormonal changes.
Instead of getting into an unproductive argument with your partner, step back, relax, and think things through. If you’re having trouble doing that, talk to your partner in a calm manner and express your thoughts and feelings clearly. Don’t just assume your partner knows what you’re going through. Talk it out. Be clear.
2. Sex Is Just a Memory
If you’re reading this, you probably don’t even remember the last time you were intimate with your partner. Even after having a vaginal delivery, your body takes a bit of time to return to normal. Plus, there are other factors such as mood swings, stress and a lack of romance that can affect your sex life.
In this situation, it’s best to explain what’s going on in your head to your spouse to ease the worries and assure them it is just temporary. This is an area where you guys, as a couple, have to come together. If sex isn’t an option right now, do your own thing, whether it’s going on date nights or watching a movie. The bottom line is the both of you need time for each other. Don’t hesitate to ask the in-laws if they can watch the baby for you while you and your partner have some alone time together.
3. Money Matters
Money management becomes stressful and can lead to plenty of arguments. Most people don’t like talking about money, but once you start a family, the bills can pile up. The mortgage, utility bills, and childcare fees can become overwhelming. The stress and anxiety may have you lash out on your partner. People having a baby must plan accordingly when it comes to their finances. Create a budget and put something away in case of a rainy day.
4. Find New Ways to Bond
Before your baby came along, you could do everything with your partner. Whether it’s watching movies on Netflix, cuddling in bed or just going for a walk. Not only that, you had all the freedom to spend time with your relatives, friends, and colleagues at work. However, now that you have a new responsibility, how you use your time has significantly changed. Free time is now spent washing baby clothes, bottles, and just carrying the baby even while you’re eating.
Although this is the situation you face, it doesn’t mean you cannot find ways to enjoy yourself with your spouse, family, or friends. Chore time can be a bonding time for you and your partner. Caring for the baby together with your mom can also be the quality time you need with her. Surely, it won’t be as fun as it used to be but take this opportunity to embrace parenthood in a new way.
Grandparents want to spend time with the baby. They can ease the stress of raising a child by offering to babysit, but they may push the boundaries by telling you how you should raise your child. Just know you have the right to refuse even if they’ve been generous and helpful, but you have to do it respectfully and politely. Sometimes, this can cause a rift between you and your own parents or in-laws, but don’t let that happen. Your baby’s grandparents are an essential part of your child’s life, let them be there, but be clear on the boundaries if needed.
Once the baby arrives, people having a baby will find it increasingly difficult to spend time with their friends. In your case, the baby will keep you busy and you might be too tired for a fun night out. However, you have to try. You can ask your partner to take over the babysitting duties so you can have fun with your friends once in a while.
On the other hand, if a fun night out isn’t your thing, why don’t you schedule a playdate with your mommy friends? It’s always nice to talk to someone who can relate to what you’re going through on a daily basis.
Becoming a parent can make it difficult to have some “me time” but please, never neglect yourself. You will need to set time for yourself at least an hour a week to enjoy your hobbies and relax. When you’re too stressed, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to take care of anyone. Allow yourself to reboot and reenergize. Don’t feel guilty about it, you deserve some “me time” after all your hard work!
Watch this video from Channel Mum to get a mother’s input and learn more:
In the end, having a baby can cause unexpected changes in relationships. Yes, even after preparing and asking yourselves when ‘should I have a baby?’ over and over again. As a couple, you’re likely to face many difficulties, and there will be days that challenges will pile up on top of each other. No one said being a parent was easy, but it certainly can be fun. At the end of the day, raising a child is hard, but the experience is worth it. Just don’t forget yourself and your relationship with your partner, family, and friends.
What tips do you have for people having a baby soon? Tell us in the comments section below!