How to discipline a teenager that won’t listen
Some teens are known to be tricky and, of course, stubborn. It is the stage when they try to figure out who they are, express their thoughts, and how they feel. This, however, comes along with partial or total disobedience to their parents and other authority figures around them. Then, they are capable of being evil, quarrelsome and rebellious. We all went through this phase of life and survived.
To secure a bright and hitch-free future for your teenager, these behaviors, which are said to be normal and natural, must be gotten rid of. This, like other tasks, are not easy as it requires careful compliance to some strategies that have been researched and proven by psychologists.
This is a phase of life when children start to generate their personal beliefs and ideas, which might contradict their parents or any other authority. It is also this teenage that they choose between the wrong and right in life. It is, therefore, the parent or guardian’s duty to show and lead them to the right path in life.
However, Parents see these differently. Most parents see it as their ability to control their child, such as giving instructions, enforcing, obedience, and serving punishments when necessary.
Some believe it is being able to put their trust in their child, allowing them to make decisions independently, and then frequently checking on them to guide them to the right path. These approaches to teen disciplining are commendable, but as the former tends to be harsh and unfriendly, the latter is lovely and friendly.
One thing to notice is that they both have their merits and demerits. Here, you’ll get to know some of the ways your teenagers might behave and how to deal with them effectively.
Discipline Strategies for a teenager that won’t listen
1. Link privileges with positive
Unlimited access to electronic and mobile devices, cash flow, driving, spending time with friends are privileges you should link with your teen’s good behavior. You also have to make them realize that they can earn more privileges by keeping up good character. However, you should not hesitate to withdraw these privileges if you start seeing traits of disobedience, noncompliance to your rules, calling you names, and displaying disrespectful acts.
This, among others, is one of the best ways to keep your teen in check and ensure they don’t grow out of hand. With this, your teen will, of course, not always want to suffer the consequences that come with his or her wrongful acts.
2. Do away with repetition
Many parents, for some reason, are fond of repeating instructions or ideas they give to their teens, which often does not work. Reminding teens of what you want them to do or what they ought to do over and over surprisingly encourages disobedience to your instructions and makes you partially lose your respect.
This will happen because, by repeating the same point all the time, your teen would have been used to your tone correction and will no longer find it coercive. A recent research study revealed that teens tend to master a way of calming down their parents when they are angry due to the frequent occurrence of this act.
So, to avoid repetition, learn to give instructions at a time. Noncompliance with this rule should attract one warning, and this should come with punishment. This is one of the guaranteed best ways to discipline your teen.
3. Help them make good decisions
As teens, one of their most cherished abstract possessions is independence. They value this more than anything else. Parents hoping to keep their teenagers in check should therefore learn to give them the freedom to make decisions independently. Respecting their decision passes a message of self-worth and confidence which enhances obedience to parents. Parents should therefore guide to help them realize the effects of wrong choices.
4. Let them face the consequences of their actions
Experience, a popular saying, is the best teacher. In disciplining your teen, making them face the outcome of their actions also helps a lot. This allows your teenager to know the aftereffect of their action, and this tends to correct the bad act automatically.
However, it would have been of help if such a teen can induce a valuable life lesson out of such experience. Spending a lot of time with your teenager will let you know much about them and what they are going through not to land in trouble while trying to sort things themselves. By doing this, you are gradually erasing the nature of the annoying teenager out of them.
5. Live by example
In most instances, a teenager’s behavior is often a clear reflection of their parent’s character. Interestingly, 70% of parents with destructive behaviors have zero tolerance for this act towards their child. One of the best ways to correct and discipline your teenager is to live by example.
Showing your teenager how things are done without making use of your mouth all the time helps. Teenagers tend to learn this appropriate manner of doing things unconsciously when they see their parents doing the same thing.
6. Be friends with them
Friends with your teen can be the best way to discipline them when you maintain an excellent relationship between you and your teenager and try to spend much of your leisure time at home with them. This allows you to have their trust and, therefore, to lighten your parental burden.
Getting to find out what they like or an activity they enjoy during their free time can also help you befriend them.
You can use that as easy access them when you notice any swing in their mood or do anything you don’t like. You’ll know you have taken this to the next level when your teen comes to you for advice.
7. Set clear and consistent boundaries
The absence of boundaries is one of the major causes of disrespect in teenagers. Most of these children don’t heed to correction and are allowed to get away with it by their parents. They then grow to be mannerless and disrespectful teenagers.
Most families with rules don’t make sure their children obey them. These children unconsciously break those rules and don’t even know they are doing so in most instances. Teenagers growing up to be disrespectful can not be avoided in these types of families. For a positive effect on a child’s behavior, parents must be consistent in enforcing these rules to shape a responsible, and we’ll get a mannered teenager.
Also, Parents must learn to unite in disciplining their teenagers to clear all ambiguity. What this means is that parents should respect the instructions and verdicts of each other. For example, if a parent tells the kid not to touch the grapes in the fridge, Under any condition should the other parent, conscious of these instructions, share the grape with the children.
Also, let’s say one parent gave the kids the grace of watching the TV till 8 pm; the other parent should not contradict this by making them watch till 10 pm. The other parent must be bent on enforcing the rule by making sure the kids go to bed by the speculated time.
A reason that can also contribute to the problem of disrespectful teenagers. If one parent is strict and the other is lenient, Teenagers will learn to manipulate and get their way between them.
Setting clear rules and boundaries and applying them is very crucial. However, mastering this parenting skill requires practice.
Try to discuss these boundaries with your teenagers when possible.
8. Allow them to correct their mistakes
You can also discipline your teenager by offering them a chance to correct their mistakes. In case the child gets someone else injured or destroys someone’s property. Let them bear the full consequence of their actions and then come up with plans to make corrections.
It might be going over to render an apology to the person that has been hurt or even make them work extra hours to pay for damages. This, as it is intended, will make them feel remorse and, expectedly, might make them desist from such acts.
9. Make them feel a sense of responsibility
If you want to help your teenager understands how life is, giving them a sense of responsibility is very important. Sometimes, intentionally give them a lot of chores if they even complain. Things like making them do the grocery for a whole week, cook dinner for the family, make them clean the house, etc., will make them realize and appreciate what you’re doing for them. Generally, This will also help them as they journey through life.
10. Be fair and always communicate with them
Let your teen realize and understand the rules, the rewards of obeying them, and the consequences of doing the contrary. This means you are keeping the lines of your communication open. Treat and teach your teen fairly in all ramifications that you would expect of your teen when they become an adult.