When to Talk so the Kids will Listen & Absorb Your Words (+ A Bonus Tip)
“Come here, baby! Listen!” I spoke out loudly.
She was busy playing.
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“Coming mama! Coming in a minute”. She answered in the same tone but refused to come immediately.
In this Article
- Are kids always in the mood of listening?
- 3 Best times to advise your kids; they will listen and absorb your words.
- Ask yourself?
- Action Plan
- Bonus Tip
It was so clear that she was not in the mood of listening to the words I wanted to say but somehow she has to come, I’m her mother.
She came to me in a super busy mood when I called her out again.
“Yes, mama!”
I wanted to talk about something about what she did wrong, which means it was a piece of advice.
I don’t exactly remember what it was but I’m pretty much sure that I was going to offer a great piece of advice to my daughter.
Didn’t do it, I immediately backed off.
“Nothing baby! I wanted a hug.”
She gave me a quick hug and went back to what she was doing earlier! “Play”
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Kids are always in the mood of listening?
I was wondering “is she always in the mood of listening?”
What do you think?
Only taking care of “How to talk so the kids will listen” is enough?
By the way, This is a very great publication. If you haven’t had read it, Just grab it on right away. Here’s the link to get this book.
In this book, the author explains the reasons behind, why kids don’t listen.
How do understand kids’ feelings and how to improve cooperation?
It’s a very helpful book on your way to positive parenting, I would suggest, just grabbing it and polishing your parenting skills.
Read Also: 9 Must-Read Parenting Books for New Parents
Back to my point:
Only considering how to talk, is enough?
Are they always in the mood of listening?
I think that children do get fed up with their mothers for this reason; Always be like, “don’t do this”, “don’t do that”, “No! this is wrong.”
Would I listen to someone always offering pieces of advice? No, I wouldn’t!
Would you?
So how can we expect a child to always listen and follow!
Flashback to my mom’s advise:
Recalling something my mom told me… Recalling…… She heard it somewhere and told me. Recalling…
Well, I don’t exactly remember why she told me this, but she did!
She said, “There are certain times when the kids will just absorb what parents say.”
I recalled those words and applied them.
& BOOM!! It works.
I find my daughter always listening to me and paying attention AT THESE TIMES.
So, I would just head on and collect all my advice for these crucial times.
3 Best Times to Advise the Kids
So, here are the 3 most important times to offer your advisory services to your kids, without a charge, of course!
I will arrange them from least effective to the most effective: (No. 1 is the least and No.3 is the most)
1- Family Meal Time:
Family mealtimes are super important to create a strong bond among all the family members.
Make sure that all of you are away from screens. It’s crucial to make this time effective for children to absorb your words.
Children feel more emotionally attached to their parents when it’s mealtime. You will find them more ready to listen to you and share their own thoughts with you.
This tip may not be valid for toddlers, who are always jumping and running. (Unless you are using some sort of high chair.)
This time is effective but still, I wouldn’t recommend it,
Why?
Talking while eating?
No!
It may result in the choking of the food pipe. Beware!
2- While Riding a Car Together:
Ever thought of it?
The car keeps the family members closer to each other and most of the time, all of the riders don’t have much to do. (“No screen” is crucial. Remember?)
Children will be more ready to listen and attentive.
Just take the advantage of undivided attention, You can get your words listened to and absorbed.
Next time you go for a family ride, recall this article and see your kids being more attentive.
3- Right Before Bed:
This is the most important time. Not only for kids but even if you want your own self to listen to you, (you know what I mean) you can use this time.
The memories right before the bed are most likely to become subconscious memories.
If you have read my article about showing more love to your children, I mentioned at the end that bedtime snuggle is the most important thing to get into your child’s brain.
Children are so ready to connect and absorb anything by their parents, at this time.
So, it is super important to get into a snuggle and then you can say any good thing to your child.
The kid will just absorb your words, and your piece of advice will get a corner in their brains.
If the advice is super important you can repeat that for multiple nights, but remember don’t repeat the same words every day.
Repeat the same advice after a few nights or maybe every other night. and see the magic.
Also, don’t start advising every day. Fix it! Some nights are fun nights, some are connection nights, some story, and some advisory nights.
Repeating the same thing over and over again will simply lose its effect.
Ask Yourself:
- How many times, in a day, I say “No”, “Stop”, “Don’t” to my children?
- Do I arrange at least one family meal a day?
- When driving with the family, do we turn on loud music or talk with each other?
- Do I spend quality time with my kid right before bed or start yelling to go to bed on time?
- How many times in a day do I try to advise my child?
- What tone do I use to talk to the baby when I’m offering my free of charge advisory services?
Action Plan
- Get your book “How to talk so the kids will listen, and listen so the kids will talk“right away.
- Save your No’s and Don’ts.
- Arrange at least one family meal every day.
- Start spending more quality time while riding a car with the family; turn off the music for most of the time.
- Set a goal of snuggling for at least five minutes and connect with your children.
Bonus Tip:
Start spending more energy in gaining the trust of your child.
Always speak the truth and be honest with others too, not only with the children. They must know that my mommy is an honest person.
Unintentionally, they will start listening to you, trusting you, and eventually following you.
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