Yelling at a child with Asperger's

Yelling at a child with Aspergers

Do you feel bad when you do? Or when an outsider does that? Do you think it is the best thing to do? They tend to persist in their preference, like not wanting to go to school, being picky at foods, or wanting to try something out that you do not want them to. Basic things like this might give you or the outsider no other choice but to “yell”. So what are the effects of Yelling at a child with Aspergers?

What is Asperger Syndrome or disorder?

The said condition was named after an Australian pediatrician, Dr. Hans Asperger, and was portrayed by him in 1944. Asperger’s syndrome is a benign type of autism spectrum disorder.

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Therefore, it is characterized by diminished social interaction, repetitive behavior and restricted interest, normal language co-ordinance and cognitive development but poor conversational skills and difficulty with non-verbal communication, and often above-average performance in a narrow field against a general background of impaired functioning.

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How to identify a child with Asperger disorder

You have a childhood friend with that you both grew up together, had this easy relationship flow, and was socially good, even physically. Still, all of a sudden, you found out that your friend no longer relates well with people and friends, including you like before; rather, they had turned out to be “an awkwardly social fella”.

You know nothing about the condition, nor Asperger itself. Then you decide to tag your friend as a ” weird being” or a “brat” because he suddenly starts shouting at intervals and hates noise at the same time!

This could also happen between a mother or parent and their child. Mostly after noticing the weird changes in their child. You can identify if it is Asperger’s syndrome using the following symptoms. They are:

Little or no social interaction

1. Siphons all their interest and energy in things like computers, robotics, A.I., games, electricity, drones, planes, and other inventions other than their Normal school penmanship, P.E., or art.

2. Feeling like they want to shrink at the hearing of noise, they close their eyes, bend their head and shake too.

3. They make animal noises(cats or dogs), spin bottles, pens, or anything they find around them while thinking of being hyperactive.

4. Behavior problem; hence acting out or even adding aggression to what they do.

5. Avoids eye contact even when they are still infants because they find it uncomfortable doing so, but they’re paying attention.

6. Make a deep detail with each subject at school, whether you as the listener are interested or not.

7. Cannot participate in group work because of the loud noise

8. Gets mistaken for having a behavioral problem in an environment where their brain finds it difficult to transition to normal or gain balance.

9. Very skilled in listening and abiding strictly by rules.

10. Experience difficulty in motor skills such as skipping, football, climbing, running, skating, and balance because they cannot figure out when their body is in shape.

11. Naive and are prone to bullies but finds it preferable to relate with them because of the attention they channel them.

12. Preferring their belongings to be for easy identification, e.g. their pants and shirts hung in rhythmic order of similar colors, making it easier for them to find.

13. Easily communicates with animals, babies, people with special needs, and older adults, unlike their peers, but finds it hard.

14. Ask questions at the most inappropriate time.

15. Throw tantrums because they find it hard to manage their emotions.

Does My Child Have Asperger’s Checklist?

 This question pops in right after you have known the signs to expect or look out for in a child with Asperger’s. If you are finding it hard to discern whether your child has it or not, here is a checklist to help you identify Asperger’s Syndrome.

Sensory Input Issues

Most of these children with Asperger’s syndrome may have certain sensory difficulties like smell, sight, sounds, or tastes. They could as well lose their appetite due to smell or texture, react strongly to some smells, get too hypersensitive to sounds of different sources, and lastly, might be having a problem with “touch” ( that is, may not want to be touched ).

 Slowing Losing Interest and Behave Unusually

Some of this bizarre and unusual behavior may include obsession with some things, and stimming behavior like hand flapping, rocking back and forth, and twirling.

Communication Problems

A child with Asperger’s finds it really hard to relate or communicate. The symptoms associated with these include: having trouble concentrating on people and objects that are not related to their favorite subjects, finding it hard to make eye contact, may not being able to express themselves well when speaking, and making unusual gestures while a conversation is going on.

Cognitive and Motor Skills Impairment

when it reaches this stage, they become mindblowing

Kids with Asperger’s disorder or syndrome, Stop yelling at a child with Asperger’s

Dan is just 9 years old and was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was 5. His social status has become awkward since then, and somehow he does find it hard to relate with his friends, even physically; it has affected his relationship with people. Although clever and bright, Dan now finds his self-esteem being affected too; he is now used to it and is doing well at managing his condition.

Even when it is hard to start a conversation, his interest in technology-related phenomenal is Dynamic (when asked questions about things about planes, trains, computers, robotics, weather, Atomic theories, volcanoes, electricity, milky way, and big-bang theory), his answer goes a very long way in describing any of it which will make you, the listener to get bored of his talks until you walk away.

Their brains and yelling

As for the case of Dan and his mother as an example, she could tell when he needs discipline. However, this can only occur because of the tantrums they throw or their refusal to do something.

She [Dan’s mother] also added that despite knowing all of this, most times; she would have no other choice than to “yell” at him.

You should know that yelling would be very deteriorating to their health because at that moment, when you yell at such a kid, you make them feel insecure, and they enter into confusion and get nervous as well. Their brain has become enemies with noise, and what else is yelling? If not a form of noise.

Moreover, instead of their brain passing the “warn yourself” information that you want them to adhere to, rather it gets them misinterpreting your request and makes the kid wanna shrink.

Noise? Emergency response!

Kids with Asperger’s have problems with noise, and this is usually unsettling for them. You would find them covering their ears and putting their head down at an inharmonious sound. They could even begin to shake because it is causing an uproar in their brain.


Now when it seems like abuse, knowing they can be quite shaky. When you yell at them, although kids with Asperger’s can be obeying, strict with instructions, and listens well when it comes to the kids’ “impulse behavior”, especially when outside or among other people, it somehow makes them look like they are a brat.

The need for the discipline of kids with Asperger’s!

The need for discipline is as important when they are in your care. Like other children, discipline is a vital role we play on them, be it as an adult or their parent.

Emotional damage?

Although for kids with Asperger’s, you might want to find disciplining them as a means that could hurt them emotionally or cause them emotional damage, you should know that you are doing them no good if you do not. Nevertheless, not in a hard manner!

You could display your words or modify your style of communication with such a kid just by keeping it simple, for example (“no littering the floor” instead of “now Tom, you know I hate it when the floor is being littered” ). Just by doing so, you won’t appear harsh on them, and they will manage to abide.


For other children, “grounding” could mean a whole lot to them, having done a wrong thing and now facing the consequences, so being indoors or restricted all day makes it feel like the worst time of their life.

This is a different situation for kids with Asperger’s because going by grounding or staying alone somewhere would not appear odd to them or give them any signal. However, for them to know that they get to face the consequences of their wrong actions, you might go by having to strip them of their favorite item or belongings, such as video games, pets, books, diaries, etc. This gets to them, and they could easily comply!

Intentional misbehavior!

When you notice that such a kid keeps repeating the same behavior that is not polite or right, then there is a need for discipline, and if not taken care of, it can lead to social problems.

How to discipline a child with Asperger’s that won’t listen.

Children on this spectrum are usually difficult to discipline, but there are ways to do that.

  • At each of their misbehavior, please do not give pay so much attention.
  • Remove access to what they cherish the most.
  • When they refuse to listen to you and do not go to school or use the T.V. in the living room to play video games, you could threaten them by saying you would not buy more toys for them.
  • Seek professional help or expertise if you see that you cannot deal with their misbehavior or manage their “not listening to your behavior”
  • Make pictorial representation for them, which shows what they can expect when they do what is wrong.
  • Remove what might be distracting them from listening to you, e.g. taking away their toys, video games, etc.
  • Award them when they behave acceptably and listen well too. Then, you can praise or give them more pets and toys.

In conclusion:

Spanking or yelling at them is not an option because they react negatively to that. In addition, their brain misinterprets it, and they find it hard to correct themselves rather than get hurt emotionally.