How to handle first child when second is born
Kids generally show different reactions when a new member is introduced into the family, but in cases where a second child is being born, the reaction of the first child has more stats to go off the line if there is less planning or training from the parents. These pieces of training depend on the psychology, mental capability, and age of the first child. To have utmost satisfaction in the first child coordination when the second comes, the training must be optimized at two different stages, Pre-birth and Post-birth.
How to handle first child when second is born – Help your firstborn to adapt to baby
Prebirth
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During this period, many measures are advised to be put in place before childbirth.
Revealing the news
The first child has to know the family will be welcoming a new member during this period. The awareness can be in the form of:
“Dave, we are having a baby soon.”
“See, mummy has a baby in her tummy.”
As the pregnancy ages and the mother’s stomach gets bigger, the mother should let the first child touch and feel a living thing in her stomach, and it will soon be out. Of course, they might not be able to apprehend initially, but before the birth time, they would have been fully aware a new member will join the family.
Introduce the father to help
Fathers are also caregivers, that part of them will be needed during the training. The mother should let the child spend quality time with the father, and more fun time should be introduced without the mother’s intervention. With this, the first child adapts to the new way of not having to be with the mother all day. This step should be taken carefully and not in a rush. The child might feel insecure if this step is taken to extremes suddenly.
Let them do things themselves
Age determines how much this step will be implemented. For firstborns who are between the age range, 3 – 5, they should be trained how to eat correctly, put them in a separate crib, let them learn how to carry simple tasks within their age limit, but the parents have to watch out for tasks that can cause home accidents or cause them stress.
Take them to visit families with more than one child
Dinner night, a weekend visit to family friends, get-togethers, and others enable the first child to mix with families with more than one kid. In addition, they will get to see the live coordination of other children with their siblings. In some cases, the first child might ask himself/herself for a junior brother or sister when they get home.
Read books with them
Pictorial books introduce children in general to worlds. In schools, they are used to drive different knowledge to various children in a simple way. There is up to 62% remembrance level when learning with virtual equipment. This will also play a significant role in preparing the first child for the second born.
In response to handling the first child when the second is born, many children literature writers have put their best to compile the best books that will aid parents in these aspects.
When the mother reads to the first child with this aid, the first child gets a message passed by the book and simultaneously prepares for the arrival of the second-born. They also count it as fun and enjoy the company of the mother.
Plan big changes with them
Everyone likes to be involved in decision-making and in being a part of significant events. When the mother goes shopping with the first child, she should allow them to choose when it comes to needed things. She can ask them to select the colour of the dress she wants to buy for the upcoming baby.
“What color of sock will you want for your sister?”
“Pink”
“That’s good. I will go for them.”
The mother might smile alongside while the first child feels happy and proud to be a BIG BRO or BIG SIS. The first child starts expecting the second-born, which will still be in pregnancy then, but in cases where the firstborn isn’t that old to fully understand, or they are just getting to talk a bit, the parents can still take the same step — Babies understand much more than we thought. They can feel changes, and positive reactions follow if the changes make them happy.
Buy toys and baby-like dolls
To better train, the firstborn, purchase toys or a baby-like doll. Let the first child play with it while the mother or father gives precautions in handling it. The care and mistakes the first child makes will be observed. The parents can then give corrections and teach the first child how to do some things related to the handling of babies (I take the baby-like doll for an example here.)
Teach him/her how to sing simple lullabies
Lullabies are soothing songs, poems, or sounds to lull children to sleep. The firstborn can learn to sing some lullabies, and this will have to be taught by the parents or guardians around. With this, they can fill themselves with singing lullabies to make their brother/sister sleep; it will be a great honor for them then. Simple lullabies like “Twinkle, twinkle twinkle little star,” “Sweet dreams,” “You are my sunshine,” “cradle song,” and others.
Although it’s not a must to bring all the aforementioned to action, they have been tested and have been confirmed to aid in handling the first child when the second is born effectively. Some actions should be taken for Postbirth to make the whole Pre Birth not be a waste.
Post-birth
After the new second born is discharged from the hospital alongside the mother, the following should be done to reduce the problems when second borns are introduced.
Let them know the baby has finally arrive
Take the first child to the cradle where the second born is placed and let them see that the long-awaited sibling is nowhere. The Prebirth training‘ result will emerge at this stage. People will come in to congratulate you, whisper to him:
“Your brother is here. So cute. Do you like him?”
And you will see the first child roll in happiness as they have been thirsty to meet the second-born due to the Prebirth training.
Don’t act too aggressive when they make mistakes
Since the first child understands what is on the ground, they will try to please the baby and innocently handle the second roughly when opportune. It’s normal for the first child not to know how to do some things in baby care, but at the same time, the mother or father should gently attend to them and correct the first child in a good way.
No one wants to be yelled at. It’s often the first child’s anxiety to satisfy and act as a big brother or sister that causes rough handling. Parents should remember any mistake could cause emotional pain in the first child or injury in the second.
Advice Friends And Families To Bring Gifts When Coming
Children remember Christmas, Easter, and other festive days because they get gifts and love they don’t get regularly. They wish every day should be Christmas. Telling friends to bring gifts for your first child makes them name the arrival of the second-born as a period of happiness and love. The first child will not feel bad or left out when they see people show more love, and it’s already an approval the second born will favor them.
Don’t leave them completely
No one likes to be replaced with another person. Necessary care should continue. The father will have to support more than before to make sure the first child enjoys their days and doesn’t feel the reduction in the mother’s attention towards them. Many couples make mistakes here. They stop many things before, and the first child sees the second as a happy moment destroyer.
I witnessed a situation where the first child tries to hurt the second by pinching her because he feels his parents like her more than him. This kind of issue should be avoided by putting ineffective measures of caring and attention.
Watch closely
When they are together, observe both children and know how much they are getting along as days roll on. If there is anything you think you should do, do it. There is no fixed formula; everything accounts for different people’s experiences, and none of them experienced the same thing. It’s always a different story, but when the parents watch the children closely. They can know when to intervene, correct, or seek the advice of a professional doctor.
Take care of yourself
Many times, parents forget to take care of themselves because they spend most of their time doing so for their children. It’s advised if parents see signs of too much stress or exhaustion. They should seek the help of their friends or family members.
Child raising is indeed tasking and requires best practices, but it needs careful decision-making, and there should be no fear in the hearts of parents in this case.
More attention should be given to the first child with health issues or is handicapped.