How to Get Rid of Stay at Home Mom Guilt and Burn Out (We’ve All Been There!)
It doesn’t always matter how thankful we are to stay home with our kids, or how much we truly do value our work, sometimes that stay-at-home mom guilt syndrome and stay-at-home mom burnout make their way into our lives anyway. That doesn’t mean you have to live with SAHM guilt or SAHM burnout forever, though!
If you’re looking for tips to get rid of stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout, this post is the ultimate guide you are searching for!
Tips to Get Rid of Stay at Home Mom Guilt and Burnout
There are lots of strategies and tools to get rid of SAHM guilt and overcome SAHM burnout, but here are the top tips that I have seen work over and over again (in my life and other SAHMs).
You don’t need to try them all at once – in fact, I’d encourage you to try 1 to 3 of these tips within the next one or two weeks – and go after the rest of the list after seeing how those first few work for you.
Taking on too many new strategies and tools that are meant to help you can have the opposite effect and end up overwhelming you even more, or worse – making you think they don’t work.
Go through these tips for getting rid of stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout, read the rest of the post, and then come back one more time ready to take notes and take action!
Ready to dive in? Let’s go!
Tip #1: Identify Where Your Stay at Home Mom Guilt and Burnout Come From
I know this may seem like a terrible tip and feel overwhelming to even think about, but hear me out…
You may be able to get to a place where you get over SAHM guilt and burnout for a little while, but unless you understand where your guilt and burnout stem from to begin with, you won’t be able to keep it away for very long.
Identifying where stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout come from will help you to understand why they show up, why they’re so hard to overcome, and your strategies to get rid of them for good.
By recognizing and accepting the root cause of your overwhelm and guilt, you’ll begin to notice any patterns, thoughts, habits, and people that cause or encourage them. In recognizing these things, you will empower yourself to be aware of any changes that need to be made – and then have more confidence to take action on those changes.
Action Step 1.1: Journal or think about any possible causes for your SAHM guilt and burnout.
Take as much time with this as you need. Ask friends and family that you trust for their input.
Think of your most frequent complaints, biggest daily pain points, and things you tend to think to yourself even if they seem insignificant.
Common causes for stay at home mom guilt and burnout are:
- Trying to be the perfect image of a STAHM and not feeling good enough/having unrealistic expectations of yourself (and maybe others)
- Comparison to other SAHM and even working moms
- Comparison to your life before being a SAHM
- Society and cultural influences
- Expectations and influences from family and friends
- Not contributing financially to the family or not feeling like your contribution is “enough”
- Loss of independence and loss of your identity
- Boredom and lack of trying new things
- Feeling stuck at home (and feeling guilty for feeling that way to begin with)
- Personal upbringings
- Lack of support from partner, friends, or family (whether with housework or emotional support)
- Financial hardships
- Lack of priorities and time management
- Health issues
- Mood disorders and anxiety
- Feeling invisible and not appreciated
- No clear vision for what’s left after raising your kids
- Not having or making time for yourself
- Not investing in yourself on a regular basis (with money, time, or resources)
Action Step 1.2: Find their opposites.
Thinking about what the opposite scenarios are to each of your causes for SAHM guilt and burn out simply gets the ball rolling in the right direction.
Instead of leaving your list hanging, it may be more encouraging to imagine their opposites and then applicable solutions.
Essentially your goal is to go from one side of your list (causes) to the right side (opposites) by brainstorming and trying possible solutions, little bits at a time.
For example, instead of trying to be the perfect image of a STAHM and not feeling good enough/having unrealistic expectations of yourself (and maybe others), what does it look like to redefine what being a SAHM (or WFHM) means to you? What if you took an honest look at your expectations and evaluated them? What would simplifying your authentic SAHM image and expectations do for you and how does it feel to imagine these opposite scenarios?
Tip #2: Connect With Other Stay At Home Mom’s and Know You’re Not Alone
One thing that I wish I had done sooner in motherhood was to connect with other moms, but specifically other SAHMs.
There’s something about having a community or even one person who understands your unique situation in life, in this case being a stay-at-home mom who struggles with the same things they do.
Knowing you’re not alone makes a massive difference in getting rid of stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout.
Whether you connect with other SAHMs through playdates, in an online mommy group, or somewhere else – it’s just important to know that there are other Moms out there who struggle with the same feelings and thoughts as you.
I know being a SAHM is tough (being a mom, in general, is tough!) but you are not alone!
Action Step 2.1: Brainstorm some ways that you can connect with other Moms who have been or currently are SAHM.
Just remember that it’s important to feel welcome and comfortable in this community – so if you don’t feel like it’s the right fit, that’s perfectly fine! There are endless ways you can make Mom friends, even if it takes a little while to find the right ones.
Tip #3: Invest in Yourself in Some Way, Every Single Day
Call it what you want: self-care, self-love, investing in yourself, etc. Just make yourself a priority!
Pick up a new hobby, do something you used to do but haven’t since becoming a Mom, read a new book, journal, exercise for 30 minutes, put your Christmas tree up early, pamper yourself with a face mask and bubble bath…whatever you need to do to truly invest in your wellbeing – do it.
There are no rules to self-care except this one: it has to be authentic to you.
Just because someone says showering isn’t self-care or a luxury, doesn’t mean it can’t be your way of investing in yourself (or doing self-care). If that’s all you have available to you and it’s attributing to your wellbeing, allow it to be whatever it needs to be for you.
The same goes for self-care trends. Self-care has become such a buzzword that sometimes it feels completely inauthentic and applicable to our lives as moms. Whenever the term self-care comes up, images of bubble baths and manicures usually come to mind. But if bubble baths and manicures aren’t your things, and gaming on your PS4 is, guess what? Gaming is your self-care. It’s your way of investing in yourself, even if it’s not exactly trendy or popular.
Action Step 3.1: Brainstorm some ways that you can invest in yourself every day, and do those things.
Every day can be something different, or it can be the same. If you don’t usually do things for yourself, it will feel weird at first and you may not even know where to start. That’s okay!
Just jot down some things that you are interested in or things you know always make you feel better.
These things don’t have to take a ton of time or even necessarily require alone time, either. Almost anything can be adapted to your unique situation and schedules if you get creative enough. And to be honest, you won’t always have alone time, especially if you have young kids and babies. Sometimes your self-prioritization activities (aka self-care) will happen with your kids, and that’s okay! It’s important to keep this in mind so you have appropriate expectations while still investing in yourself daily.
Even if you plan to do something when the kids are sleeping and they wake up early, try to keep doing your thing and try to find a way to involve them. (It’s important for kids to witness their parents taking care of themselves, too!)
If making a cup of tea and drinking it while you journal or read is your self-care, make time for it even if it has to be done in a 10-minute time frame.
Kid wakes up and won’t go back to sleep? Offer them a cup of tea or warm milk and a chance to read or write with you!
Tip #4 Learn to Be Present and Intentional With Your Kids
Sometimes the days just all blend together and it can become really hard to be truly present with our kids (yes, even our little babies!) and intentional with how we are spending that time together.
After a while, it’s easy to nit-pick and considers everything we didn’t do with our kids. It can be hard to even know where to start when connecting with them, for one reason or another. Learning to be present and focused on them is a skill in itself because let’s face it – moms have a million thoughts going on all at once!
There is no such thing as a perfect Mom, but if you genuinely feel that you and your children can benefit from you being more present and intentional in your time together, here are some great ways to get started today and feel more connected with them:
- Start with what they enjoy (if they’re old enough, just ask them!)
- Read together (if you don’t have time to go to the library or hand-pick books, this book subscription box is a wonderful and truly helpful investment!)
- Depending on their age, the play kits and play gyms from LOVEVERY is a great way to get your little ones involved in STEM activities and encourage their development while bonding with them!
- Get hands-on and crafty together! (I’ll admit, this one doesn’t come naturally to me, and I had zero patience for searching Pinterest for hands-on activity ideas and coming up with an entire plan and list of materials myself, which is why I am absolutely in love with The Activity Room by Hands On As We Grow! Their ebooks and blog are also valuable, but I appreciate the complete ease of The Activity Room and the fact that it saves me HOURS of research with the daily activities laid out, list of materials needed plus substitutions, accountability, and so much more. Seriously…one of the best investments!)
- Make music and dance! (I LOVE Musik At Home for music classes and ideas to do with my little ones at home!)
- Play mindful games and encourage the practice of being present for both you and your child! (The Mindful Kids cards by Little Renegades are awesome for this, as well as the Peace Makers game and Snuggle Buddies from Generation Mindful!)
- Journal together! (Promptly Journals is an amazing way to get started journaling or get out of a journaling rut, and they even offer parent-child connection journals to do together! Seriously, how awesome is that?!)
Action Step 4.1: Find one thing from the list or on your own to do today to truly be present with your child(ren) and have fun! Do this on a regular basis.
Don’t overthink it! Just pick something or ask your child what they would like to do, and go have fun with it! If it turns out to be a bit of a bummer way to spend your time together, pick something else, and keep it top of mind if it turns out to be a winner!
Then continue to find ways to connect with your kids and have fun together!
#5 Journal On Your Thoughts and Feelings
I’m a big fan of journaling if you can’t already tell! It is a great way to get everything out into the open and release it from your mind. It can also show you things that you weren’t really aware of before and can also be a great way to see how far you’ve come when you look back at your journal entries later down the road.
I’ll admit that even though I’m a huge fan of journaling, it doesn’t always come easy to me and I can’t always dedicate much time to it. Most days I journal for about 10 minutes, sometimes less. But for those few minutes that I have to myself, I am able to clear my thoughts and get my feelings out on paper which is a great way to decompress. It also allows me to read what I wrote from a more objective view and evaluate whatever situation I’m in that much better.
There are so many ways to journal, and the best way to get started in my opinion is with a gratitude journal. I actually recommend a gratitude journal for daily use, above any other type of journaling. It forces you to think about the good things instead of just sitting with the negative feelings (which is also important, don’t get me wrong!).
Still, staring at a blank piece of paper is overwhelming, which is why I love this prompted gratitude and reflection journal on Amazon, and the gratitude journal by Promptly Journals.
Action Step 5.1: Try journaling in some form or another, whether you start with a notebook lying around your house and free journal prompts or by purchasing a journal that you love
You can google free journal prompts or look on Pinterest, or come up with your own! Or if you prefer the typical way of journaling, you can simply let your thoughts flow onto the paper un-prompted and freestyle.
Either way, go ahead and try it for 5-10 minutes and see what comes of it.
#6 Use Affirmations and Mantras
I am a big believer in affirmations and mantras, because when you really commit to them they work!
Affirmations and mantras were my ignition point into all things personal development and helped me get out of my own pit of stay at home mom guilt and burnout. It didn’t happen overnight, but with daily use and actually attaching feelings to the affirmations and mantras, my mindset eventually shifted and my energy, actions, and life followed suit.
When you use affirmations and mantras, over time it will help you shift your thoughts and emotions to ones that lift you up and serve you instead of the ones that bring you down and keep you feeling stuck, guilty, and overwhelmed.
Think about how you talk to yourself throughout the day. What kind of things do you say and think? How do they make you feel? If you’re like I was when I was going through my own seasons of stay at home mom guilt and burnout, you’re probably constantly telling yourself how tired you are, how overwhelmed and burnt-out you feel, how unsupported you are, and how much you want things to change (or some variation of those things). Right?
And that’s normal, and it’s okay (necessary, even) to feel those things, acknowledge and honor them. But at some point, you have to shift your thoughts and words if you want to feel less overwhelmed, guilty, and more alive, energetic, and ultimately fulfilled.
We get more of what we focus on, which makes sense when you really stop and think about it. The more you tell yourself you are tired, the more tired you’re going to feel. The more you tell yourself you’re unsupported, the more you’re going to feel like you’re doing all of this alone. The more you tell yourself that you’re stuck in overwhelm and burnout, the more you’re going to feel (yep, you guessed it) overwhelmed and burnt-out.
But, good news is that you can change your thought patterns, and eventually your belief system. I know that got deep pretty fast, but stay with me…
What we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes our perspective and our inner belief system, which is ultimately at the core of how we live our lives. So if you want to get rid of your stay at home mom guilt and burnout, you have to start telling yourself things that will actually help you do that and make change instead of the same old crappy things you’ve been telling yourself this whole time that have only kept you where you no longer want to be.
One of the best ways to do that is with consistently using affirmations and mantras.
You can make your own up or you can get printable affirmation cards for the overwhelmed and burnt-out stay-at-home mom here.
Pinterest is a really good resource for this, too.
Action Step 6.1: Start using affirmations and mantras daily
No matter where you get you get your affirmations and mantras, it’s important to read them throughout the day (both in moments when you need them most and before you need them) and to actually believe what they say.
This will feel really awkward and untruthful at first, but it does get easier and it does work with consistent use, I promise!
Attach the feelings that you want to feel to each affirmation and mantra. Journal on them. Read them aloud to yourself and your kids. Tape them to your bathroom mirror and set alarms to read them so you don’t forget. Do whatever works for you, and don’t be afraid to take some time to figure out what does and doesn’t work.
#7 Consider SAHM Alternatives and How You Can Financially Contribute (If That’s What You Desire)
Despite conventional images of moms loving their role as a stay at home mom and staying in that role until their youngest is in school or off to college, sometimes that just doesn’t make sense or work. And I know you and everyone else knows this because let’s face it: it’s the twenty-first century and modern motherhood is incredibly different than what motherhood looked like for our own moms and their moms, and so forth.
Sometimes your family needs extra income because a single-income just isn’t enough. Sometimes you just need something to do that doesn’t involve your kids or spouse. Sometimes it’s deeper than that and is more about your desire to feel more fulfilled and have something you’re passionate about, or you want to regain your sense of independence. Maybe it’s all of those things or something else entirely.
Whatever the case, sometimes momma just wants to make some money and do something outside of the stay at home mom role.
So, I challenge you to consider the alternatives of being a SAHM and then consider the possibilities of living out each alternative.
Can you get a part-time job? Do you want to work from home? Build your own business whether online or outside the house? Maybe you want to switch roles with your partner and they stay home with the kids while you work full-time.
What is the likelihood that any of these alternatives to being a STAHM can work for you and your family? Which one would you start with or have tried in the past?
There are more possibilities to financially contribute than you might realize, and I’d encourage you to think about what that could look like for you and your family.
Action Step 7.1: Make a list of SAHM alternatives/ways to make money (if that’s what you desire)
If you’re even just considering what your possibilities are for making money (from home or outside the home), do some Google searches or ask your friends, family, and online forums, Facebook groups, etc. for ideas and inspiration.
Start a master list of ideas, do some research for any or all of them, and narrow down the list to 1-3 ideas that you’d like to try…then go try it!
#8 Prioritize, Simplify, and Streamline Your To-Do List
Everything may fight for your attention, but not everything needs to actually receive your attention. The first thing you need to do with this step is to prioritize everything you keep putting on your to-do list. Not everything is a priority, and not everything is important. When trying to figure out what should be a priority, simply ask yourself what is important to you and your family in this season of life, and how the things on your to-do list contribute to what’s important.
For example, it’s important to me to have a lot of free time to spend connecting with my kids, which means I want to spend less time cooking, cleaning, and running errands. So I prioritize time with my kids (like doing daily activities and light homeschooling lessons) over making sure my home looks “IG-worthy” every day. My first son is a toddler and my second is a newborn, so this is also a much more reasonable priority vs. a completely mess-free home, as well.
That then will lead me to the question of what is a priority within my homemaking, because now I know that I don’t want to do a bunch of busy work but only what is necessary. So I figure out what my non-negotiables are on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis which allows me to focus on time with my kids more than time spent in the kitchen with a sponge.
I use a list of 3-5 daily or every other day tasks, 1-3 weekly, and 1-3 monthly tasks that are my non-negotiables. For example, on a daily basis, I will do dishes, cook, vacuum, and one or two other home management tasks that I include within my “power hour” block (more of that in a different post). Weekly, I focus on meal prepping and light grocery shopping for fresh food like salad greens, etc. Monthly I focus on meal planning, grocery shopping for the month, and meal prep for that month’s dinners (gotta love freezer meals!)
Then you need to figure out how to simplify and streamline your non-negotiables which you will do with routines and systems. (Sounds boring, I know but trust me…it works.)
At a basic level, routines are the when and systems are the how of streamlining your home management tasks.
Essentially you want to aim for 1-5 main routines for your day (including things like nap and bedtime routines, not just home management), and add 1-5 non-negotiable tasks to each routine.
For example, I have my early morning, breakfast, lunch/naptime, dinner, and bedtime routines. I simplify my home management by attaching one of my non-negotiable homemaking tasks to each routine when applicable. In the early morning, I start the washer. For breakfast, I switch laundry from washer to dryer. During lunch/naptime, I do my power hour session which includes vacuuming (puts the kids to sleep…win-win!) and one or two other tasks. For dinner, I do dishes. My bedtime routine includes putting laundry away (I can fold laundry while my son plays in the bath and put it away when we go to make the beds and get tucked in).
When creating systems, you want to start by asking how you can simplify the process of whatever task you’re focusing on and get the most from your time and efforts. What will streamline and automate the process for you so you’re not so hands-on or having to think about it as much?
For example, I almost always do a crockpot or Instant-pot dinner (and my main course is almost always prepped ahead as a freezer meal). This allows me more flexibility with meals, saves me time, and keeps me from having to slave over the stove or decide that day what’s for dinner in a few hours. This is my dinner system. The crockpot streamlines and automates the process for me as opposed to me being super hands-on and spending an hour cooking. Oh, and it totally saves my sanity with a newborn and toddler!
Doing this lightens the physical and mental load of home management by reducing decision fatigue, setting appropriate expectations, and having repeatable and predictable routines and systems that are intentionally based on your priorities, not simply “getting it all done”.
Action Step 9.1: Decide what your priorities are and create a simplified and streamlined list for your non-negotiable tasks.
Figure out and make a list of your top 1-3 priorities in this season of life (and if you feel up for it, make a note of why they’re a priority).
Then create a list of things that can be simplified and streamlined (this can be homemaking or something else).
After that, decide on 1-3 routines you’d like to start implementing or ones that you already have established and can add to. Attach one daily non-negotiable task to each routine.
Following your routines list, figure out how you can streamline and automate your tasks.
Finally, stick to this plan for a month and see how it works for you, adjusting when needed!
#9 Ask For and Accept Help
You can’t do it all on your own, all of the time, forever. I know it and you know it.
And I can tell you from personal experience that trying to do everything by yourself and having no outsourcing plan will not make you a better mom, spouse, or “inspiration” to those looking for a perfect SAHM role model…it will only deplete you, add to your overwhelm and burnout, and give others an unrealistic standard to live by. Yikes…truth bomb, right?!
- your spouse doesn’t help
- you don’t have a spouse at all
- you have no family or friends nearby or maybe they don’t want to or have time to help
- you don’t want to inconvenience anyone so you don’t ask
- you think being a good STAHM means being the go-getter who gets shit done without needing or wanting help or support
- or fill in the blank here
Whatever is at the root of not having a support system or a “village”…it doesn’t matter. What matters is what you do have, what you need, and what you do with those two things.
I know having no help sucks. Not having friends or family (especially as a new mom) who check in, visit, or offer help is incredibly discouraging and lonely. Being the only parent who cooks and cleans and is the main caretaker is frustrating. And I also know that when you’re in that space it can feel really hopeless and downright irritating when someone tells you to get help, that you need support, and that you need that famous village everyone loves to talk about.
But I also know now that not only is there a way out of that place of constant to-do’s, running on fumes, and doing it all on your own…it’s simply not sustainable for you or your family.
The truth is that one of the most important steps you can take to get out of stay-at-home mom burnout and guilt – and to stay out – is to ask for and accept help and support.
In some form or another, you need and deserve a support system.
Whether you ask your spouse, relatives or friends, get your kids involved if they’re old enough, or you hire it out…there is a way to get the help you need. Until then, find ways to make everything easier on you and less overwhelming to accomplish (like we talked about above).
Action Step 9.1: Make a “delegate and delete plan“
Make a list of everything you do on a regular basis within your home management and other commitments, (categorize each list appropriately) especially the daily and weekly tasks. I know…it’s a lot. Just trust me!
Then make a copy of your list from action step 8.1
Circle the tasks on each list that you complain about most, get overwhelmed by consistently, and wish you had help with. If you feel like all of it needs to be circled, focus on the first 3-5 things that come to mind. This is now your delegate list. Pick the top 1-3 things you’d like to get off your plate right now and brainstorm how you can do that. You don’t have to delegate all the things all the time. Simply having one or more days off from mundane tasks like dishes can make a huge difference.
After that go through the rest of the list and figure out what can simply not be done and aren’t that important – and cross those things off. Do you really need to do these things? How will not doing them free up time and mental space for you and your family? What value do they add when you do them?
If you can’t delegate them and they’re not a non-negotiable, delete them from your to-do list for now and stop sweating it.
Use your best judgment of course, but definitely be intentional when doing this exercise. Not everything is a priority. I promise.
#10 Create and Keep an I Did and I Do List Right Next to Your To-Do List
It’s so easy to get caught up in what we “have” to do and everything we didn’t get done that we don’t even realize everything we really do accomplish on any given day. Sometimes we need tangible proof of what we do when we don’t feel like we’re doing “enough” and when we have that stay-at-home mom guilt that says we are failing. This is why I LOVE having a proof journal or just a simple I Did and I Do list.
A proof journal or an I did and I Do list not only remind you that you’re doing enough, aren’t failing, but what you’re capable of by listing out the big and especially the “small” things you do, day in and day out. I mean, really just stop and think about everything you do within a day…a week…and so forth. It’s incredible! You’re a superstar, lady!
Sometimes the inspirational quotes and encouragement from friends just aren’t enough to shift your mindset or help you get over your stay at home mom guilt, so I want to encourage you to start either a proof journal or an I Can and I Did list (or both) and keep them next to your planner, to-do lists, or wherever you tend to feel overwhelmed most.
Action Step 10.1: Create and Keep an I Did and I Do List or a Proof Journal and Keep It Next to Your To-Do List, Then Update It Regularly
Get a notebook, journal, sheet of paper, or these printables, and write at least one thing you accomplished today.
It doesn’t have to be some groundbreaking milestone or “significant” thing. It can be as simple as doing dishes before they began to pile up on the counter, or sleeping in a little longer and prioritizing your rest.
Now continue to update this journal or list every day, writing at least one thing no matter how big or small. Over time, try to write down more than one and expand your list instead of writing the same or similar things every day.
After you write this accomplishment down, take a moment to breathe in and out three to five times, and repeat this phrase or a variation of it to yourself; “I am proud of myself for all that I’ve done, and I do not criticize myself for what I haven’t done. Every accomplishment matters. I acknowledge and honor every single one.”
You may find it helpful to write that phrase down on a sticky note and put it in your journal or wherever you need the reminder most.
Now put your journal or list next to your to-do list, update it daily, and remember how amazing you are.
#11 Realize the Profound Impact that You Have as a SAHM
Being a stay-at-home mom (and a mom in general) is no simple role. Every day we are pushed past our limits in some form or another, do the work of 15+ people, and are literally raising the next generation. We have a serious amount of pride, of course, but is it any wonder we can struggle with stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout at some point in motherhood?
It’s so important to not get caught up in to-do lists, unrealistic expectations, and standards, or constantly question whether you’re doing enough or too much.
One of the best ways to get rid of stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout is to remind yourself of the incredible impact you have as a SAHM. Just like it’s important to have a proof journal or an I Did and I Do list to remind yourself of everything you accomplish, it’s important to have some kind of proof journal to remind yourself of the value you’re adding to your family and the world as you raise your babies and do everything you do.
Action Step 11.1: Find one way to remind yourself of how important your work as a SAHM is, and remember why you became a SAHM in the first place
Whether you use affirmations and mantras, journal prompts, (you can get some ready-to-print affirmation cards and journal prompts for stay-at-home moms here!), or something else – find one way that you can remind yourself of the impact you have as a STAHM.
Then implement this into your daily life (or multiple times a day if needed) and continue to work on your mindset so that you can truly get rid of STAHM guilt and burnout.
#12 Know When It’s More than SAHM Guilt and Burnout
Experiencing stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout is normal, but sometimes it can become something more and go unnoticed.
If you are experiencing signs of depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders, please know that you’re not alone and there are solutions and help available to you.
Reach out to someone and check out these resources for moms experiencing depression, anxiety, and more:
- Online counseling and/or talk therapy (I’ve used Better Help in the past and recommend it)
- Journaling (I use and recommend the Postpartum Self-Care Journal from Promptly Journals, but there are also some great journals on Amazon)
- Online resources like postpartum.net, 2020mom.org, postpartumstress.com, theemilyeffect.org
- Use meditating and mindfulness apps like Stillpoint Meditation for Mothers, Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer, and the Prompted Journaling App from Promptly Journals
Why You Shouldn’t Ignore SAHM Guilt and Burnout
Dealing with your stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout before it turns into anything more is important and deserves first place on your priority list. The earlier, the better – but it’s never really too late.
When SAHM guilt and burnout go unnoticed and/or untreated, it can and will turn into feelings of resentment, regret, and the like – and can definitely contribute to mood disorders like depression and anxiety. It also can lead to relationship problems, especially the relationship you have with yourself.
You cannot fill from an empty cup. I know you’ve heard that a thousand times before and it probably feels corny and meaningless now, but think about it. Do you laugh your hardest or smile your biggest with your family when your mind is always focused on what’s left to do instead of simply allowing yourself to be happy and have fun? Are you patient or present with your loved ones when you’re completely exhausted and depleted? Can you really be the best mom and spouse that you know you want to be – while neglecting your needs in the process and feeling like there’s not anything to give anymore after making sure everyone else’s cups are full before you put a drop back in yours? Of course not. And in all truthfulness, there shouldn’t be an expectation or standard that says otherwise!
Let’s drop the expectations we have upheld about what a successful and good stay-at-home mom looks like, and embrace what we want it to look like for us and our families instead.
You are not stuck in your guilt or burnout, I promise you! And while these tips and this guide on how to get to rid of stay-at-home mom guilt and burnout are honestly just the tip of the iceberg, they’re an important first step into getting out of survival mode and into a place where things are just better.
We covered a lot, didn’t we? I don’t expect you to remember everything in this guide to getting rid of SAHM guilt and burnout, so if you’re into Pinterest, I’d recommend saving it to your boards and coming back when you need the tips again. You can also just bookmark it in your browser or save the link in your phone.
In case you skimmed down to the end of the post or otherwise need a quick recap, here it is.
Tips for Getting Rid of SAHM Guilt and Burnout:
- Identify Where Your SAHM Guilt and Burnout Come From
- Connect With Other Stay At Home Mom’s (Former or Current) and Know You’re Not Alone
- Invest in Yourself in Some Way, Every Single Day
- Learn to Be Present and Intentional With Your Kids
- Journal On Your Thoughts and Feelings
- Use Affirmations and Mantras
- Consider SAHM Alternatives and How You Can Financially Contribute (If That’s What You Desire)
- Prioritize, Simplify, and Streamline Your To-Do List
- Ask For and Accept Help
- Create and Keep an I Did and I Do List Right Next to Your To-Do List
- Realize the Profound Impact that You Have as a SAHM
- Know When It’s More than SAHM Guilt and Burnout
The Importance of Dealing with SAHM Guilt and Burnout
When SAHM guilt and burnout go unnoticed and/or untreated, it can and will turn into feelings of resentment, regret, and the like – and can definitely contribute to mood disorders like depression and anxiety. It also can lead to relationship problems, especially the relationship you have with yourself.